There is a disturbing trend that’s visible just in my lifetime.

In humanity’s hunger for growth and cool shit, we’ve gone so far overboard with manufacturing and energy production that we’ve terraformed our own planet in a way that’s bad for us.

Whoopsie.

Global warming sucks, and there will be big changes for future generations.

But there’s another climate change no one is talking about.

Beyond manufacturing, our consumer-lust has equally shaped the world of marketing. We’ve learned the how to leverage the power of dopamine to control people, and developed and entire science called neuromarketing.

Neuromarketing ( n )
The science of how to manipulate people for profit.

It's actually pretty cool, in one key aspect- I've seen more advancements in understanding of human emotions come out of the field of neuromarketing, than I've seen in the last 50 years of research in psychology and neuroscience combined.

Why?

Because the money is there to back it.

And while researchers have learned plenty of new things, there is one key thing they've always known.

Sex sells.

This is a common representation used in the field of neuromarketing known as the "Limbic map." It represents some key motivations that define human behavior.

Why does sex matter so much to us?

Sex is perhaps our strongest drive, sometimes even stronger than fear of our own survival.

Many of us men discovered this in our teen years, climbing on rooftops in the middle of the night to sneak into our girlfriend's bedroom.

Probably not much has changed since then.

And we’re not the only species who will risk our lives for sex.

Just ask a male porcupine.

Male lions often fight fiercely over control of a pride, leading to serious injuries. Once in control, they frequently mate with the females in the pride. These mating marathons can be so exhaustive that they don't take time to eat.

Male octopi die shortly after mating, and the females die soon after the eggs hatch.

Some marsupial mice have such intense and prolonged mating sessions that the males often die from the physical stress. They can mate for up to 14 hours at a time, and the stress hormones produced can lead to immune system collapse and death.

The females of certain spider and insect species such as black widow spiders, the Australian redback, and praying mantis will eat their mates after sex. The Australian redback even helps, placing himself into the female's jaws and feeding himself to her.

But that might not even be as agonizing as the male honeybee. After a drone mates with the queen, his endophallus is ripped off, and he will die soon thereafter.

Sex matters to us, a lot.

Sex is so important, that a species cannot succeed unless sex and reproduction are at least as important as personal survival.

The very nature of life demands sex, and lots of it... and we feel all that drive.

But here's where it all falls apart.

Hyperporn. The future of porn

And how it could destroy humanity.

The simple truth is that the part of our brain our sex drive resides in is stupid.

Image made by Midjourney

To our limbic system, there isn’t really that much difference between masturbation and sex with another person.

There are differences, to be sure, and our limbic system is not the only part of our brain that informs our sexual behavior.

But in our neurological evaluation of sexual options, fake sex is winning.

Dating is complicated. Relationships? Meh. Children? Eeek. Do I really want the responsibility and cost and loss of freedom of raising a family?

Our limbic system is designed to crave variety, and it's always been that way. But in today's climate, our drive for real sex is falling prey to the same Consumerist lust that has landed us in a global climate catastrophe.

In my lifetime, I've seen porn develop from color magazines to downloadable images to the Internet and streaming video.

Now we're in the era of "perfect" AI-generated porn. virtual reality and AI companions.

If you thought the click path experience of how Pornhub delivers more and more porn-you-might-like-better, imagine when it steps out of "porn that exists" to "any porn you can imagine."

It will watch your eyes, measure your pupil dilation, figure out what triggers you most, and just create it.

Frankly, it's getting too real.

For the first time as a species, we're facing a future where fake sex might be better than real.

And that's a scary future.

Within three years, everyone can have an entire harem of boyfriends or girlfriends with them at all times, just a phone tap away. Slap on some AR/VR goggles, and your brain will tell you they're standing in front of you.

Not only will they be physically perfect to your precise OMFG level of intensity,

They’ll all have fun and interesting personalities...

They’ll all express emotions that feel entirely real...

They'll all want you sexually, think you look amazing today, and treat you like the king or queen you are.

All the time. I weep for humanity.

Can we survive it?

Honestly, I don't know. But I sure hope we try.

Here are three simple rules I live by;

1. Ditch the porn. If porn is a part of your life, you should ditch it now before it's too late. The tastiness keeps growing, and it will be much harder to let it go of later. You don't need it. It doesn't improve your life. It doesn't make you a better person. It's a serious waste of your time and energy. Let it go.
2. Avoid AI "companions." They might sound fun, but the emotional connection and "addiction" people are forming is extremely worrying.
3. Watch out for those around you. My individual choice to avoid porn is not going to save humanity, and neither is yours. We have to teach our kids, our friends, our families about the realities of how the human brain works and how porn exploits it.

Porn has become heroin, and it's all happening so fast that most of us aren't even aware.

Afterword

I often describe self-control as a form of self-parenting.

Good parenting requires rules, and discipline. It's how parents keep their kids alive, and position them for a successful future.

When we leave home and venture into the world, we become our own parents - but our situation hasn’t really changed. Rules and self-discipline still determine our future success in life.

The only difference as adults, is that we become our own rule-givers.

It's not easy. But it's worth it.